Life is full of choices. In the choosing, adventures begin.

Sorry for being a major pessimist on that last post. I had to get it out of my system. And now it's gone.

Anyway, I am in a state of wondering about my future right now.

I have put in to extend my College Program a second time and I won't find out until Thursday if I got my extension.

To be honest, I've been worried about not getting it and thinking about possible options if I don't.

There's a pretty good chance that I'll get it but I'd like to be prepared if I don't. Too many things, in the last six months, have gone a different direction than I thought they would and this time I would like to be semi-prepared for it.
Here are a few:

a) Apply for and work a part-time or seasonal position with Disney until my visa runs out in January.
PROS: Keep cast member benefits (free Theme Park admittance, discounts, etc.). I would get to be more selective of when I work, leaving Sundays free. Possibly get more mid-day shifts leaving evenings free to socialize. I would be staying in Florida for the remainder of the year.

CONS: Seasonal or part-time are getting shorted on shifts right now. They are also changing up how seasonal works so being seasonal in the fall during a down time= no shifts. Neither seasonal or part-time get benefits.

Also, I would be staying in Florida for the rest of the year.

Now, now, I know what you're going to say.

Staying in Florida a CON? What's she talking about, I though she was dying to get there?

You're right. I did say something like that. But I also said that I felt like I need to come here for a reason. Unfinished business or some kind of future path, whatever it was. And that is what I've gotten from being here. But that will be another, future post.

Anyway back to my backup plan.

Option
b) Finish up my current College Program and move home to begin preparations for a rather large, yet-to-be-disclosed development for next year.

PROS: I have two weddings within a week of each other in August, right around the end of my program, that I would really like to attend. If I were to be driving home around that time, I would definitely be able to attend both. They are both close friends and I really want to be there.

Also, this would give me far more time to save money up for what I will now refer to as the Development (Which I may also refer to as "the Big D").

August is a far better time to be driving north to Canada than in the middle of January. Days are longer, weather is undoubtedly better and timing is slightly better.

I would be able to spend Christmas at home, spend time with my nephew, brother and sister-in-law as well as hang out with my little bro for a few months before he heads out on his mission.

And finally, let's face it, I am actually a pretty big fan of colder weather. I love wearing sweaters, gloves and layers. And the cold kills bugs. My favorite part about it.

CONS: I would be leaving all the ones I love here and foregoing plans we've made for the fall. I'm hurting just thinking about that right now.

I would be leaving my dad without a manager for our Florida houses after only being in the position for about three months. I feel like it's going well and I don't want to be a jerk and just drop it and walk away. I have a need to start what I finished and this is something like that for me.

I would be wasting the last four months of my U.S. work visa.


To be honest, leaving Disney is not a CON to me. Unfortunately, it's become a job to me rather than a golden opportunity. Don't get me wrong, I still like what I do and love Disney and visiting the parks, but after doing this for six, going on seven months straight, I don't know how people do it!

Especially working attractions, I don't know how some people can do these jobs for 10 years at a time! Maybe it's because I have no desire to move up in the company or just that working an attraction where you push the same buttons day after day is not something I love to do.

They say when you do something you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Well, I feel like I'm working every day. And that's not good.

Please remember these situations are hypothetical. They are what I will have to choose from IF I don't get my extension. I won't know until Thursday.

Please keep me in your prayers that whatever is best inline with what the Lord has planned for me will happen. He knows what's best and I'm leaving it in His hands.

This could be an interesting week.

WARNING: Venting Ahead

Reader Advisory: This blog post contains venting. A lot of venting. And perhaps a hint of whining. You have been forewarned.

I really don't like doing this but this is something that has been really bugging me. I have made mention in the past of the lack of dating that goes on in my life.

Even the one time I was in a "relationship" we didn't really date. We just, ugh, "hung-out."

I've gone on two actual dates in my entire life. And they were within a week of each other 2 years ago.

I don't date. It's not by choice. I would really love to date. But I never get asked out and I know exactly why: I'm fat.

I have been told on many occasions that I am really fun person to be around, I'm beautiful and that "there is absolutely no reason why [I] should not be dating."

This has lead me to the conclusion that the only reason I am not being asked out is because of my size. I am not the physical representation of what an LDS guy wants, so they don't even want to take the time to get to know me.

This, in turn, has lead me to believe that, for the most part, LDS guys are very superficial. I know many beautiful, talented, funny, amazing LDS women who are not married or even dating because they are not size 2 blondes.

This is hurtful. Weight is a struggle for me as well as many women. And guess what: Being ignored by men doesn't help.

I can't speak for every overweight single LDS woman out there, but, for me, being single feels like a completer piece is missing.

I love my self. I am happy with who I am and able to be comfortable with only myself as company. In fact, sometimes I prefer it. I struggle with my weight, but I'm not complacent with it. I'm trying to lose weight for health reasons, not to be happier with my appearance.

I am a progressive person. I'm always looking for the next goal/step in life. I want to continue to progress in my life and, I believe, there is only so far you can progress on your own.

In the last month, 7 good friends have gotten engaged. That's right, 7 within a four-week period.
And I'm not even going to lie, it hurts a bit.

The one thing in my life that I really want to do is be a wife and mother. I can't do that on my own. But, it's also something that I have no control over.

I want to get married, but I don't NEED to be married right this instant. Right now, I would just like to date. I don't want to become a bitter single LDS woman who is mad at the opposite sex because they don't take a second look at a heavy woman.

But it sure is hard to not think like that when that's all I know...

When I'm 24...

Well, ladies and gentlemen. Today is my birthday.

Yep. It's true. Today I turn 24 years old.

I'm not sure why, but I feel like it's a bit of a land mark age. I'm far enough away from the teenage years to really be considered a legitimate adult, and yet still not old enough to rent a car.

Over the last few days I've been thinking about where I thought my life would be by the time I was 24. I'm pretty sure living in Orlando working at Disney World was not it.

Actually, it wasn't it. Here is where I thought I would be at 24:

Married with a couple of kids.

I thought life would go as follows:

Go to BYU-Idaho at 18. Get engaged and married shortly after. Finish my degree as a back up plan and raise my family.

That was it. I had no other thoughts about where I might be, no plans and no idea how different a course lay before me.

I had never dated in high school and my whole family told me it would be different once I went the Y of I. Don't deny it, people, I have letters to prove it.

It wasn't different and I actually only went on 2 dates the whole 5 years I was there.

But, all non-dating-ness aside, I have also been looking at where my life is by this age of 24:

I have attended and graduated from University.
I have a Bachelor's Degree.
I have lived in 3 different states.
I have visited at least 24 of the 50 states.
I lived in Las Vegas!
I have created an organizational system for a university department.
I have costumed a University stage production.
I have a consistent job at the Walt Disney World Resort.
I have made friends from literally all over the world.
I have seen 2 shuttle launches.
I have driven across the entire United States twice over.
I have been to Manhattan 3 times.
I have seen at least 8 Broadway shows.
I have walked through Central Park.
I have driven across the Hoover Dam.
I have been up the Statue of Liberty.
I have been to Ellis Island.
I have been to Ground Zero.
I have been to Houston.
I have been to the Alamo.
I have stood on the Yale campus.
I have been a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding.

I have had so many wonderful opportunities to explore and learn and grow.
I've done so many things that I never even imagined might have happened.

And the best part is, I have many more adventures coming in the foreseeable future.

24 is going to be a great year. Who knows what's in store?!

To Whom it May Concern;

I'm just going to lay it right on out there:


I'm really curious how many people read this thing.


I started this blog a couple of years ago, inspired by the talented writing of my beloved sister-in-law Terrah.

I've never really had a passion for writing but, in deciding on a journalism minor, I began doing a lot more writing.

I still am not driven to update everyday (which is pretty obvious), but I'm curious who reads this and is interested in my life.

...I'm also trying to get out of the habit of not blogging for multiple months and then writing a mile-long entry...

So here it is, folks: Leave a brief comment if you read this. I would like to know.

Note: If I don't know you and you read it, that's totally OK, still leave a comment... I do it too :)

And.....breathe....

I've recently come out of the Four Month Slump. What is this Slump, you ask?

Let me esplain...no, that take to long. Let me sum up.

Every four months for the last five years of my life, I have changed things up. Whether it be a move to a new apartment a trip to Manhattan or Conneticut, or even just a week long jaunt home to Canada, I've taken a break.

Why four months you ask?
It's simple. Four months is a semester. At the end of every semester I would have a week off and I would start new classes.

Well, apparently when you graduate from university, you live life in year-long increments instead of four month increments....

Crazy! I know!

So, when it came to the four month period I have been living in Orlando, I fell in to what felt almost like a depression...or what could have been a depression.

I was miserable all the time, I was highly disliking my job (one that I normally love) and I was, in general, unhappy.

It probably didn't help that at work we were having six-day work weeks because of Spring and Easter break...Walt Disney World gets extremely busy at that time.

I was worn out, frustrated and feeling a little lost.

Fortunately, I was given the opportunity to take a break. One of the wonderful girls I work with invited me and a few other friends out to her grandparents' condo up by Daytona.



It was an amazing beach-side resort with valet parking, several different pools, hot tubs and other forms of wonderfulness.

It was the day-cation I was in severe need of. I only stayed overnight but that was enough. The quiet of the condo, the hours of relaxing and sitting in the pool and spas as well as hours of doing sweet loads of nothing were amazing.

I didn't have to be anywhere, I didn't need to get anything done, it was glorious.

So now I am refreshed and ready to go again. I'm smiling and laughing at work again and looking forward to work rather instead of dreading it.

I'm in a good place.

Oh yeah! I was also able to extend my College Program so I definitely have a job until August 13! Wahoo!

Good day, citizens... Good day.

Is this thing on? taptaptap

Whew...that was quite the hiatus. It's ok. Nothing has actually happened in the last 4 months anyway... Just kidding.

There has been quite a lot going on but, ever since my summer blog-a-thon due to a class requirement, I have been a little reluctant to do much here. And, in a logic I don't even understand, my brain was thinking that because I was reading other people's blogs...I was keeping mine updated.

Yeah. Don't ask. Because I know how dumb that is.

Anyway, some updates as of late.

I completed my much dreaded student teaching in November at Basic High School in Henderson, NV. It wasn't the most pleasant experience ever but I made some fantastic friends and learned a TON in the process.

In completing the student teaching, I have also received my diploma from BYU-Idaho...Which was very cool. I have a degree... How awesome is that?!

After I finished in Nevada, Dad and I took a massive cross country road trip to bring my car to Florida,as I started a internship with Disney in January, and then we drove home to Canada as well. So much fun. Everyone should roadtrip on a regular basis. Tell your friends.

After being home for a month or so I returned to Orlando to begin my second Disney College Program.

And so far, I love it!

I'm in the process of applying for a Professional Internship with Disney and hopefully, that will be the next step in my year long visa...

Seriously though, pray for me. I really want this internship and I'm scared that I won't get it. Please.

Anyway, that's what's shaking in my world at the moment. Hopefully I'll feel motivated to keep a better update here.

PEACE.

Yay! I'm legal!!!

Well, I got exciting news today.

My OPT (Optional Practical Training) Visa came in today. This is my work authorization for the next year. I can legally work in the United States from Jan. 4, 2010 until Jan. 3, 2011.

This is extremely exciting for me because a) I start at Walt Disney World Jan. 6 and I needed to be legal and b) this was my second time around applying for the visa, which is...a story on it's own.

And here's the story.

I originally applied for my visa in August. I got all the forms and pictures and letters of recommendation I needed together and handed it in to the International Students office at BYU-Idaho for them to send it in.

Content knowing I had taken care of that, I continued on to Vegas for my student teaching.

A couple of weeks later, I received an email letting me know that my paperwork had been received and my visa should follow shortly.

And so I waited.

And waited...

And waited...

But I didn't worry about it because I was just waiting for the visa and they might be backed up a bit.

Well, Nov. 1st I received an urgent email asking me to call the Int'l Office immediately about my OPT.

As it turns out, I was too efficient for the U.S. Government to handle.

My application had been denied because it had been submitted before the 90 days prior to graduation limit...19 days before.

The International office suggests you put in your application 3-5 months early because the visa people are usually behind quite a bit....

Well, apparently they caught up.

So, I was denied a visa and I had already accepted a job for January and those two don't go well together.

Fortunately, Bro. Oswald in the International office is awesome and he helped me get things together to re-apply. He even worked it out with the Financial Aid office so I wouldn't have to pay the $340 fee again. And when I messed up the redo of my application, he made a new for me.

So, needless to say I have been a little anxious these last couple of weeks waiting for my visa to come in...I have a flight to Orlando booked for Dec. 31 and I wasn't sure if I would have a work visa to cross the border with.

But, now I can relax and enjoy this wonderful Christmas season and pick up my visa from Fed-Ex in a couple of days.

I am so grateful for the wonderful faculty and employees in the International Office at BYU-Idaho for helping me as much as they do. They did whatever they could to make this process as simple as possible and helped me understand the process better too.

Yay!! Merry Christmas to all! I got the best present ever today!