Life's a Blur.

My life has been an absolute whirlwind the last two months.

I arrived back in Canada on February 27th.  On March 5th, I was on a plane to Orlando.  A week later, I was flying to Hawaii. Ten days later, back to Canada. Ten days, Salt Lake City. One week, back to Hawaii. And now, my Hawaii stay has been extended three weeks. And three weeks after that return, I'll be heading back to the UK for a visit.

This is not what I was hoping for or expecting when I got home. I knew there would be a Hawaii trip in there somewhere, but not right away.

I thought I'd have time to catch my bearings, perhaps adjust to the time zone, and figure out what I was going to do with myself.

This has not happened, but I think there were other purposes in me coming home when I did as well as constantly being on the move

. There are several things that don't need to be gone in to detail here, but they are definitely part of it.

It hasn't been all smooth sailing. I have broken down a couple of times, missing my life  and friends in Wales, wishing I knew more clearly why I'd come back.

But never once have I regret it. Get frustrated, definitely, but regret, no.

I'm here for a reason, it just hasn't been fully realized yet.

Never A "Goodbye", Only A "See You Later".

It's amazing sometimes how quickly life can change.

How quickly you can make a decision and everything just falls in to place for it.


I've decided to move back to Canada and, within an hour of making the decision, things started to fall in to place confirming it was the right thing to do.

I am so grateful for my faith and for the blessing I have of having a confirmation of my choices.

I have loved my time in Wales. I truly have. It's been an amazing experience.

I have met and grown close to some absolutely incredible people, and have become better because of my relationships with them.


I will never forget my time here, nor the people I've met.


Onward to new adventures... Where ever they may take me.

Risk assessed.

A decision has been made... In fact, writing about it made the decision happen.

I know it's the right one. Here's to a new year.

Little Miss Risk-Taker

You know how life can be chugging along and you think you've got a plan for at least the next year and everything just seems hunky-dory?

And then one factor comes forward and you now have a decision to make that  is somewhat contingent on that factor?

If you hadn't already guessed, that is what I have going on right now.

I'm not going to go in to further detail here since that is not the way I want to approach this decision and the factors that play in to it.

Life always seems to throw you big decisions when you are going contently along.

I think I might use my mantra to decide this... It's one I've been using a lot since I've moved to Wales...

Would I regret it if I didn't do it?


If the answer is yes, then I do it.

So far, it's worked out quite well.

Parlez-vous ma langue?

As a pre-emptive strike, I would just like to note one thing: I am extremely happy with my life right now, I love my life, my job, my friends and family. I am nearly perfectly happy and no, there is nothing wrong.

On to my post.

Loneliness.
Such a generalised term that gets far too abused.
A person can be lonely in a crowded room or be completely happy in a room by themselves.
I've been thinking about loneliness lately. The different kinds of loneliness.  And how different people react to it, get into feeling that way and what people do or even don't do about it.

Some things I've discovered:

I am not "lonely" as it would be generally termed. I am happy. Really, truly, happy. I have amazing friends who love and care for me, I have a fervent and strong testimony of my faith.

I have a job I absolutely adore, working with people whom I love and who care for me.

I am really happy.

But,

I have also found that I do have some "loneliness"

I find I am "romantically lonely".

Yes, that is a term I just made up.
It definitely does NOT mean I am desperate for a boyfriend... Oh no, no, no...


I'm just, how to describe it...

Craving? Yeah, I'll use that.

I find I'm craving romance. Not necessarily a relationship, just... affection.

You know the sappy stuff, like hand-holding and cuddling. Watching a movie cwtched (that's to cuddle or snuggle with affection for all you non-Welsh speakers) up on a couch with a boy.

Even a solid, long hug would do me lots of good.

And really not much more than that.

Now, why do I feel like this? I ask my self this too.

And I know the answer.

It's my Love Language. Physical Touch. True story. I've even done the little quiz.

 I am a very cuddly person, always have been and I feel like over the last year I've haven't had a lot of practice speaking in my native tongue.

What can I or have I been doing about it? Um... I think I have been trying to speak and understand other languages, to be honest.

Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. And as any one who has learned a foreign language can probably tell you, it's just not the same as someone speaking your own language.

Pretty much any one I hang around with could easily pick out my attempts at bilingualism. And really, they are enjoyable but not as fulfilling for me.

What am I going to do about it? I don't know. There's not a lot I can do.

Keep practicing my 2nd-5th languages and hope someday soon someone will be speaking mine.

In the meantime... Cookie any one? :)

Just... yeah.

Have you ever just wanted to write a blog post, but you have no idea what you want to write about?

I may or may not be doing that right now.

So this may be a bit disjointed.

So just an update on my life:

It's awesome. 

I love my life right now. 

I have a fabulous job, I have fabulous friends and I am in a wonderful city.

I have never been just so blissfully happy with my life, I feel a bit like I don't deserve such a great time.

It's to the point where I feel like, soon the other shoe is going to drop and all hell will break loose. 

But I think that's just stupid negativity coming in.

I am really happy, and I plan to continue to be that way.

Unleash the Beast!

So, last night I attended a wedding reception as a roadie for the DJ. It was at this beautiful, really Gothic look castle/house. So gorgeous. (Unfortunately, it was super rainy and I was unloading equipment and only took one picture of a courtyard. And I can't figue out how to turn it to post it...)

I've never been to a British wedding and, to me, it seems they party a lot better than North Americans. I'm not just talking about the excessive drinking, just the whole set up of the reception and partying.

Anyway, this is not a analysis of wedding receptions.

This is a story.

So, about 3 hours in to the reception, I had just sat down to eat some much needed food and one of the male wedding guests, motioned for me to come join on the dance floor.

I didn't want to be a crasher so I politely declined.

Next thing I knew, he's grabbed my hand and was pulling me to the floor, saying, "We need you to dance."

Oh bless. He had been drinking enough at that point, I don't know if he realised I wasn't actually a guest.

So, I danced.

Keeping a close eye on the drunk males around me to make sure they didn't get too close... if you know what I mean.

Once up there it appeared that there were a couple guys who had been waiting for me to dance and I was soon in the frenzy.

Don't worry the boys behaved themselves.

The guy who'd pulled me in told me I "rocked" and at then end of the song I sat back down.

About an hour later....

He dragged me in again.

This time he was a bit further gone and was drunk whispering to me to, and, I quote, "Unleash the beast", "Let the animal out" and "Own the floor."

Now, if it had been an American with (to me) no accent, I might have found it creepy.

But with his British accent, it was freakin' funny.

I had to stop myself from literally laughing out loud.

How does one "unleash the beast" and "let the animal out"?

It wasn't just his accent it was the request its self.

I really didn't know what he was expecting me to do, so I just kept dancing as I had been. I couldn't go to crazy either because a) I didn't know these people nor how they would respond, and b) I was there on a professional level with the DJ so I had to keep some professionalism.

It was the most ridiculous request/experience I've ever had on the dance floor, but it was great to get to dance.

When he pulled me up to dance a third time (even more drunk) and requested that I "touch the rug" aka his chest hair, I declined and decided I was done on the dance floor for the night.

It was quite the experience, to say the least.

Why post about this? Because it was a stinkin' funny experience that I wanted to remember and share. Also, it serves as a reminder to me.

I was reminded how grateful I am for the standards and morals I have. I don't drink and happily do so. The whole night was a drunken party that I was grateful to have chosen to never experience.


The bride disappeared about 4 hours in and the groom was still hanging around. There was the early stages of a drunken brawl and I'm pretty sure none of those people remember today what happened last night.

I'm grateful for the choices I make and things I have been taught.


As a follow up, at the end of the night, when we were packing up, the guy who'd dragged me in to dance, came over, thanked the DJ and thanked me for the dance. Apparently I'd helped make the evening quite fun for him.

I had fun too. And I will probably never forget it.