As a pre-emptive strike, I would just like to note one thing: I am extremely happy with my life right now, I love my life, my job, my friends and family. I am nearly perfectly happy and no, there is nothing wrong.
On to my post.
Loneliness.
Such a generalised term that gets far too abused.
A person can be lonely in a crowded room or be completely happy in a room by themselves.
I've been thinking about loneliness lately. The different kinds of loneliness. And how different people react to it, get into feeling that way and what people do or even don't do about it.
Some things I've discovered:
I am not "lonely" as it would be generally termed. I am happy. Really, truly, happy. I have amazing friends who love and care for me, I have a fervent and strong testimony of my faith.
I have a job I absolutely adore, working with people whom I love and who care for me.
I am really happy.
But,
I have also found that I do have some "loneliness"
I find I am "romantically lonely".
Yes, that is a term I just made up.
It definitely does NOT mean I am desperate for a boyfriend... Oh no, no, no...
I'm just, how to describe it...
Craving? Yeah, I'll use that.
I find I'm craving romance. Not necessarily a relationship, just... affection.
You know the sappy stuff, like hand-holding and cuddling. Watching a movie cwtched (that's to cuddle or snuggle with affection for all you non-Welsh speakers) up on a couch with a boy.
Even a solid, long hug would do me lots of good.
And really not much more than that.
Now, why do I feel like this? I ask my self this too.
And I know the answer.
It's my Love Language. Physical Touch. True story. I've even done the little quiz.
I am a very cuddly person, always have been and I feel like over the last year I've haven't had a lot of practice speaking in my native tongue.
What can I or have I been doing about it? Um... I think I have been trying to speak and understand other languages, to be honest.
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. And as any one who has learned a foreign language can probably tell you, it's just not the same as someone speaking your own language.
Pretty much any one I hang around with could easily pick out my attempts at bilingualism. And really, they are enjoyable but not as fulfilling for me.
What am I going to do about it? I don't know. There's not a lot I can do.
Keep practicing my 2nd-5th languages and hope someday soon someone will be speaking mine.
In the meantime... Cookie any one? :)
1 comment:
Yeah I can relate. However right now I'm just hoping for some social contact whatsoever. They didn't mention the post-mission withdraw going from always visiting someone to I have no car and I sit at home all day and no one is close enough to visit. So what have you been up to?
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