Don't you...forget about me.

I've been feeling really off lately.

Besides just being in a weird place with not working, I've had this feeling of fear deep in my chest.

Even now that I have a job, it's still there, just as strong. I'm not entirely sure what this fear is, but I think I may have one idea what might be part of it.

I think I have a deep-rooted fear of being forgotten.

When I was younger,  I had a reoccurring nightmare of me walking down the street with my mom and my older siblings (the dreams started before Stephen was born), and all of the sudden, they start walking faster and end up leaving me behind.
I try really hard to keep up or even just find them again but I can't. There are always these people appearing all around me pretending and looking just like my mom but I know they aren't really her. And, always right before I wake up, I see them quite a distance away and yell for them but they don't even seem to notice I'm gone, let alone hear me calling to them.

It's always been a terrifying dream. And it has obviously effected me deeply because it's probably been at least 10 years since I last had it and I remember the details so clearly, it's like it's been happening every night for the last 10 years...

Even writing about it now is causing tension in my stomach.

I bring this up, because I think on a sub-conscious level, I feel like I'm being forgotten by the people who I care about and I thought cared about me.

Not my family, but the friends I've made at BYU-Idaho and even the friends I left in Florida only four short months ago. In fact, I feel like some of my friends in Florida started forgetting about me before I even left and it was like I'd never existed after a couple of weeks.

It's like my most terrifying nightmare as a child is coming true.

The hardest part about feeling like you've been forgotten is that when you're in a brand-new country you've never been to before, with nobody at all you know, it makes the huge change you've just made, even more intimidating and scary. I love living in England. I just want to know I'm not forgotten by those I care about.

I don't know, may be I'm just over-thinking this.

But how else can I explain this feeling of absolute fear and loss in my stomach?

Clarification.

I realized I should clarify something. I love England. It's fantastic. It feels comfortable and like where I'm supposed to be.

On the other hand LONDON is not my choice place to be. I would much rather be in the Southeast. Kent is where I would rather be. It's less densely populated, more small town and much, much, much cheaper to live in.

But, London is where the job is, so London is where I am.

That is all.

Cheers.

Landed.

I've been in London for almost a week now, and so far, I love it!

Unfortunately I won't be writing too much for about another week or two as I am currently typing this from my IPod touch. Mom and Dad will be bringing my computer with in a couple weeks and the I can get sorted.

Until then, I'll probably just be doing little posts like this... And hopefully on a more regular basis.

Cheers.

Here we go, here we go, here we go again.

Tomorrow, I head south to get ready to fly out to England. It's kind of crazy.


I fly out Wednesday afternoon to England.

I don't know how I feel about this. I'm kind of in a bit of shock. It's all come together really quickly.

I'm really excited to go, but it's just hard to believe that it's all happening.

But it is! I'm moving to freakin' England! How awesome is that?!

See you on the other side of the pond!

Like, whoa....

So, I have applied for my work visa for the UK. I had my appointment on Tuesday to get my fingerprints done and sent off the package.

Now, I just have to wait a couple of days for the package to arri...

Oh wait. It's in Ottawa in less than 24 hours? Ok, awesome! Nothing wrong with that!

Now two wait the 4-6 weeks for the visa to be issued and sent ba...


Whoa... 20 hours later "Your visa has been issued. Please allow a minimum of 3 days for Priority or DHL to deliv..."

Holy crap, what happened to 4-6 weeks?!

It's on it's way! I'm so excited. It's on its way! As soon as it gets here I can go over whenever I want.

Wahoo!!

It's really happening!

So sorry.

I think I have driven off anyone who used to read my blog.

All this last year I wasn't really very compelled to write. I was tired a lot from working and didn't want to have to do much thinking while I detoxed from dealing with thousands of Guests everyday.

Unfortunately, in this dry spell, I think I have driven away any one who used to read, because, hey, when there's nothing new to read, why would you keep checking back all the time?

Well, I'm determined to fix this.

I have a ridiculous amount of time on my hands and I can definitely fill some of that time here.

So, there you go.

This here bloggity-blog-blog is back and rolling!

On the road again.

I am currently in the middle of the big road trip back home. Burlington, Colorado with my dad to be exact. We've already been through 8 states with 3 more to go. It's been awesome.

New Orleans

I love traveling.  Road tripping is one of my favorite things to do. Whoever I marry really needs to enjoy that. It's a great way to spend time and bond with whoever you're traveling with.


We used to road trip all the time when I was little simply because we couldn't afford to fly. I think it was one of the best things my parents could have ever done for us. We've seen a good chunk of territory and we've seen it as a family. What could be better than that?