Parlez-vous ma langue?

As a pre-emptive strike, I would just like to note one thing: I am extremely happy with my life right now, I love my life, my job, my friends and family. I am nearly perfectly happy and no, there is nothing wrong.

On to my post.

Loneliness.
Such a generalised term that gets far too abused.
A person can be lonely in a crowded room or be completely happy in a room by themselves.
I've been thinking about loneliness lately. The different kinds of loneliness.  And how different people react to it, get into feeling that way and what people do or even don't do about it.

Some things I've discovered:

I am not "lonely" as it would be generally termed. I am happy. Really, truly, happy. I have amazing friends who love and care for me, I have a fervent and strong testimony of my faith.

I have a job I absolutely adore, working with people whom I love and who care for me.

I am really happy.

But,

I have also found that I do have some "loneliness"

I find I am "romantically lonely".

Yes, that is a term I just made up.
It definitely does NOT mean I am desperate for a boyfriend... Oh no, no, no...


I'm just, how to describe it...

Craving? Yeah, I'll use that.

I find I'm craving romance. Not necessarily a relationship, just... affection.

You know the sappy stuff, like hand-holding and cuddling. Watching a movie cwtched (that's to cuddle or snuggle with affection for all you non-Welsh speakers) up on a couch with a boy.

Even a solid, long hug would do me lots of good.

And really not much more than that.

Now, why do I feel like this? I ask my self this too.

And I know the answer.

It's my Love Language. Physical Touch. True story. I've even done the little quiz.

 I am a very cuddly person, always have been and I feel like over the last year I've haven't had a lot of practice speaking in my native tongue.

What can I or have I been doing about it? Um... I think I have been trying to speak and understand other languages, to be honest.

Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. And as any one who has learned a foreign language can probably tell you, it's just not the same as someone speaking your own language.

Pretty much any one I hang around with could easily pick out my attempts at bilingualism. And really, they are enjoyable but not as fulfilling for me.

What am I going to do about it? I don't know. There's not a lot I can do.

Keep practicing my 2nd-5th languages and hope someday soon someone will be speaking mine.

In the meantime... Cookie any one? :)

Just... yeah.

Have you ever just wanted to write a blog post, but you have no idea what you want to write about?

I may or may not be doing that right now.

So this may be a bit disjointed.

So just an update on my life:

It's awesome. 

I love my life right now. 

I have a fabulous job, I have fabulous friends and I am in a wonderful city.

I have never been just so blissfully happy with my life, I feel a bit like I don't deserve such a great time.

It's to the point where I feel like, soon the other shoe is going to drop and all hell will break loose. 

But I think that's just stupid negativity coming in.

I am really happy, and I plan to continue to be that way.

Unleash the Beast!

So, last night I attended a wedding reception as a roadie for the DJ. It was at this beautiful, really Gothic look castle/house. So gorgeous. (Unfortunately, it was super rainy and I was unloading equipment and only took one picture of a courtyard. And I can't figue out how to turn it to post it...)

I've never been to a British wedding and, to me, it seems they party a lot better than North Americans. I'm not just talking about the excessive drinking, just the whole set up of the reception and partying.

Anyway, this is not a analysis of wedding receptions.

This is a story.

So, about 3 hours in to the reception, I had just sat down to eat some much needed food and one of the male wedding guests, motioned for me to come join on the dance floor.

I didn't want to be a crasher so I politely declined.

Next thing I knew, he's grabbed my hand and was pulling me to the floor, saying, "We need you to dance."

Oh bless. He had been drinking enough at that point, I don't know if he realised I wasn't actually a guest.

So, I danced.

Keeping a close eye on the drunk males around me to make sure they didn't get too close... if you know what I mean.

Once up there it appeared that there were a couple guys who had been waiting for me to dance and I was soon in the frenzy.

Don't worry the boys behaved themselves.

The guy who'd pulled me in told me I "rocked" and at then end of the song I sat back down.

About an hour later....

He dragged me in again.

This time he was a bit further gone and was drunk whispering to me to, and, I quote, "Unleash the beast", "Let the animal out" and "Own the floor."

Now, if it had been an American with (to me) no accent, I might have found it creepy.

But with his British accent, it was freakin' funny.

I had to stop myself from literally laughing out loud.

How does one "unleash the beast" and "let the animal out"?

It wasn't just his accent it was the request its self.

I really didn't know what he was expecting me to do, so I just kept dancing as I had been. I couldn't go to crazy either because a) I didn't know these people nor how they would respond, and b) I was there on a professional level with the DJ so I had to keep some professionalism.

It was the most ridiculous request/experience I've ever had on the dance floor, but it was great to get to dance.

When he pulled me up to dance a third time (even more drunk) and requested that I "touch the rug" aka his chest hair, I declined and decided I was done on the dance floor for the night.

It was quite the experience, to say the least.

Why post about this? Because it was a stinkin' funny experience that I wanted to remember and share. Also, it serves as a reminder to me.

I was reminded how grateful I am for the standards and morals I have. I don't drink and happily do so. The whole night was a drunken party that I was grateful to have chosen to never experience.


The bride disappeared about 4 hours in and the groom was still hanging around. There was the early stages of a drunken brawl and I'm pretty sure none of those people remember today what happened last night.

I'm grateful for the choices I make and things I have been taught.


As a follow up, at the end of the night, when we were packing up, the guy who'd dragged me in to dance, came over, thanked the DJ and thanked me for the dance. Apparently I'd helped make the evening quite fun for him.

I had fun too. And I will probably never forget it.

It's just another day, doo-doo, doo, do do.

So, it's been about six months since I last blogged... It's a good thing I don't do this professionally.

Anyway, a lot has transpired in those six months.

In February, I had emergency invasive eye surgery due to bleeding in my eyes caused by complications from a previous treatment.

In March, I decided to moved back to the U.K. Namely, Wales.

I spent most of April in either Houston or Hawaii and in May, I followed through with my plans.

I moved to Wales.

There's, of course, more fiddly bits between those events, but those are basically the highlights. Maybe I'll blog about the individual events someday. Maybe I won't.

So, I now live in Wales. And I LOVE it. I don't know what it is about this place, but I've not felt so "in place" in a long time.

Things seem to be coming together nicely as well. I am one of the few people my age in the U.K. to have a full-time job.

At the new Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff.

I'm totally neutral in my feelings about it.

Completely impartial as you can see here.

Anyway, maybe I'll blog more, may be I won't.

Either way, I'm really happy and where I'm supposed to be right now.

That is all.

Good day. I said, Good day, sir.
(ten points to who ever can name that reference)

I am a Geek Girl, hear me roar.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've never said it before nor did I really realize it, 

 but I am a Geek Girl.

I love mainstream Sci-Fi.  Star Wars, Firefly, Doctor Who. Love it.

I will enthusiastically and with great detail dress as movie characters whenever the opportunity calls for it.

I will attend movie dressed in full period-appropriate costume... a week after the film opened.

I really, really, really want to attend a Con. Dragon*Con, Comic-Con, whatever. In full costume, of course. 

I find Steampunk beautiful and am planning on using elements to outfit a future home.

 via

 via

I am slightly obsessed with Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who. 

via

via

via 

I regularly quote movies and television shows in every day life.

When my best friend gives me an umbrella with a sword handle for Christmas, I think it is on of the coolest gifts ever and I dress the part and do a photo shoot with it.

I will have a Nerf war with you, anytime, anywhere.

I will have an epic battle against my best friend with toy swords in the toy department of Target and then ride across the parking lot in a shopping cart. 

I believe only Star Wars Episodes IV, V and VI exist.

I re-read the entire Harry Potter series within a month and still openly wept at the end. 

I have read and re-read my favorite book, Beauty by Robin Mckinley probably 10 times and will read it at least 10 more.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is my favorite movie and one of my favorite books.

I will be attending at least one, if not more, Can't Stop the Serenity events this summer.

I am a Browncoat. 

I am a Whovian. 

I am a Geek Girl

It keeps me joyful, young at heart, full of imagination and sense of adventure. 

I am a Geek Girl.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

All growed up.

I think I've become a full-fledged adult over the last six months. I've been living completely on my own since November and I managing several rental properties and running a company. But one of the main things that makes me feel like an adult is that over the past few months, I've made overnight trips to Edmonton and paid for hotels room for just me. That's actually where I am right now.

Taking on what feel more like "real" responsibilities has been a great learning experience and, I'm pretty sure, it's preparing me for whatever's ahead of me in life.

Maybe business trips and hotel rooms by myself is part of my future. It's not what I wanted, but I can only play the game with the cards I've been dealt.

So, Dealer, hit me.

And we're back.

Wow, it's a good thing I don't blog for a living. I would be dead broke.

Anyway, since I last wrote, my life has taken all sorts of unexpected turns.

First off, I no longer live in England.

I love living in England and it was perhaps the coolest experience thus far in my life, but, unfortunately, it had to be cut short.

At the beginning of July, I was running late and ended up not eating for most of the day and by mid-day was suffering from cold sweats, shaking and indescribable stomach pain.

This had happened to me once before the previous fall and I was basically incapacitated for a week. It was really bad and happening again, but after I ate something, I felt a bit better.

Now, just a few days prior to this horrible pain, I was stressing. I was struggling big time financially and was finding really hard to get by on part time wages living in perhaps one of the most expensive cities in the world. I had the impression that what needed to be done was that at the end of the summer I was going to go home to get back on my feet financially.

It just became a question "when" rather than "if".

The following day, the doubled-over stomach pain hit.

So I made the decision to at the end of July, I would come home to figure out what was wrong with me since I'd been having stomach problems intermittently since one really stressful semester at BYU-I.

After the decision was made, I started feeling better, but when I was reconsidering a few days prior to my departure, I had perhaps the most vicious stomach pain attack and was thoroughly reassured of my decision. The nine hour flight back was not the most comfortable flight I had. There was a LOT of medication involved.

Anyway, I returned to Canada and after a couple of days recuperating, I went to the doctor to try and get all this figured out. A couple of days and two blood tests later, I was admitted in to the hospital for almost a week as a newly diagnosed Type 2 Diabetic.

Now, I'm pretty sure the diabetes was not the cause of the stomach pain, but it was a contributing factor and I've been working really hard to get that situation under control and so far, so good.

So since my discharge from the hospital, I have been working really hard for my dad. I started out as a delivery driver for his oilfield lubricant company and have since worked my way up to Acting Manager.

Pretty impressive, right?

Well not really, since the promotion to manager came out of desperation since my parents were moving to Hawaii for several months and Dad needed someone to take care of the mean time.

So, pretty much since the beginning of November, I have been running the company and managing Dad's rental properties. I'm also house-sitting for my parents by myself in the big old house I grew up in, that's several miles out of town.

Sometimes I wonder how long it would take someone to find my body should something happen to me, but that has yet to become an actual issue, and, knock on wood, shouldn't be one.

Anyway that's an official update on my life. I do feel like I'm going a bit crazy being by myself in this big old house, but Dad says if I recognized that I might be going crazy, I'm not. So when I stop seeing the crazy, someone come get me :)

I miss England and I really miss my friends, but I've made some good connections here. This is the longest I've lived in Canada since high school, so it's been an adventure but a good one.

And there are many great adventures on the horizon.